I think Im still a little bit in shock.
Saturday morning greeted me with a positive pregnancy test.
After I stared at the test, held it up to the light, turned it upside down, blinked a whole bunch, and then just STARED at it some more, I started shaking.
Holy SHIT! Could this really be happening?
I had pretty much written it off because for the past few days leading up to this, I had had some spotting and some nail biting cramps that had me reaching for the advil.
When I saw this second line pop up on the test, I was pretty skeptical.
So I did 5 more tests just to make sure.
All 6 tests..(one of them a digital) said "Pregnant".
And so here I start this blog at 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
As of right now, my blog and this pregnancy shall be kept a secret. Its to early to tell anyone anything. Having suffered a miscarriage last year Ive learned my lesson. I want to wait a bit before I tell anyone anything. I am scheduled for an HCG blood test tomorrow. I will know more once I have the numbers. Its actually the second set of blood work that is more telling than the first. The numbers should double every 24 hours. (The the pregnancy is progressing normally.) So once I get all that done then I will feel better.
Ive been feeling "ok". Im so exaughstedly tired. I could easily sleep all day.
My stomach has been "off". But I went to the walk in clinic Saturday afternoon and one of the fill in Doctors there wrote me a prescription for Diclectin so Ive already started taking that. It seems to help. Given how sick I was with Lijie (couldn't eat anything...and was so terribly nauseous all the time..) I know its only a matter of time. The pharmacist said to start taking it now and hopefully it will already be working by the time I really need it. (I give it another week before I REALLY start to feel gross..) Though Im pretty sure its making me more tired than I already am to begin with. Something else that is really gross...my mouth keeps pooooooling with saliva. *blech*
I have my first Dr's Appt on October 24th. (Which will probably count as my first prenatal.)
I can't believe this is all happening. I am so excited but also so so scared. I don't know why Im scared. Ive done this before. But I just feel nervous and anxious for what is to come. I know that I can't look that far ahead. I am trying to take everything 5 minutes at a time. I know that I have to be cautious for the next little bit..and so Im trying not to let myself get TO excited. I am trying to take naps (or just lay on the couch) when I can, and Im trying to stay as relaxed as possible. Im worried about how Im going to be feeling later on down the road. Im hoping that I am able to keep up with everything, and keep everything running smoothly. (Fingers crossed)
Like I said...trying to take it minutes at a time. I keep telling myself that I can handle whatever comes my way. Even if it ends up being another miscarriage..I know tha I can handle that and get past it..because Ive already done that once to.
Im trying to keep only positive thoughts in my head and every once in awhile I feel such excitement. I can't predict or know what the future holds...but for now, Im just going to take it easy and float with things.
Babies Due Date is Officially: June 14th 2008
A summer baby :)
Anyway..more about everything else later. For now I just want to keep everything quiet. My poor Annie is trying so hard to get pregnant and I know its not happening as fast as she wants it to. (Though its only been a couple of months..when you're "Trying" that feels like forever..)
Every negative test hits her so hard. :( I know that she's not feeling good right now..and that she's down. Part of me feels guilty to be pregnant, when she is struggling so hard to get there.
Im praying for her, and I have my fingers crossed for her. Its hard not being able to share this with her.
Anyway..time to get on doing what needs to be done. After the long weekend I have laundry piled up and cleaning that needs to get done before the week officially starts.
xox
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